Paper Airplanes, Paper Football and Paper Airplane Football...

Former Cal quarterback Joe Ayoob set a new world record on Sunday when he threw a paper airplane 226 feet and 10 inches. Ayoob wasn't the most impressive QB in college that's for sure but he was good enough to sign as an undrafted free-agent with the Arena Football Central Valley Coyotes in 2008. In 2005, Ayoob completed 136 passes on 280 attempts in his senior season at Cal. He also threw for 1,912 yds and 16 tuddys. When your talking about a QB of this stature it really comes as no surprise that this bro threw a paper airplane almost the distance of a football field. Very impressive stuff.

A couple things came to mind when I was watching this video. First, the obvious. Are QBs now the next generation of paper airplane throwers? I mean, does paper airplane throwing require a certain technique, a certain motion that only bros that have played the QB position obtain? If that's the case then why can't I throw a paper airplane further than ten feet? Hell, I can't even make a paper airplane let alone toss it properly. The second thing that popped into my beautiful mind was all great Paper Football games I have played in my career. I know I say I'm the best at everything (because I pretty much am) but when it came to desktop paper football, Goddy has some serious clout. It's the intangibles, it's the little things that make me the paper football player I am to this day. Paper football isn't all about being able to hold your bearings under pressure, its about the placement, the technique and ultimately the flick. While most use their pointer finger and others their middle, your boy has proven that the ring finger is by far the most effective when it comes to flicking that long FG to win the game. With the proper technique and enough experience, flicking with your ring finger allows the flick to get big ups as long as you have the proper hold. I smell a Two Bit Paper Football Tourney and it smells like fuckin roses.

The Paper Football Design was also a very important part of the game itself. You could feel your opponent out just by looking at the design of his paper pill. Did he have to use tape on his pill, because that slows down the velocity of the shove which could in turn result in great field position. It could also mean that if the tape somehow came loose then that would directly affect the direction of his flick. It's a science. Was he a flashy paper footballer? Did he have all kinds of color and shine to his rock? 9 times out of 10 the kid who had the pretty paper football was the kid I could beat in 3 minutes flat. Woody Harrelson said it best in White Men Cant Jump, "Some guys would just rather look good and lose than look bad and win." That goes without saying, I didn't need no stinkin tape. I didn't have any flashy designs or color coordination. I just got the thing done and moved on to the next pud that tried to test me.

Finally, I couldn't help but to think that maybe, just maybe, there is a way to incorporate paper football and paper airplanes. I'm not sure that's possible but if it is, my promise to you is this, I will figure it out and make it happen. I'm calling dibs on Joe Ayoob tho, rest assure he will be my first round pick and the future of my future franchise.

*My Famous Paper Football Logo. Tell me this doesn't say "oh shit, this kids no joke".