Long Live The 80's: My Top Ten Greatest Nintendo Games of All Time

Was there ever a better time to grow up than the 80's? From the boys of Dogtown to Dire Straits on MTV, from Turbo and Ozone in the movie Breakin to Emelio and St. Elmo's fire, from Larry Bird to Marry Lou Retton.....there was just no better era in the history of man. In my feeble attempt to re-live the days where there was no central air, no iPhones and the 4th of July ribbons we won merking the competition in the potato sack and three legged race meant everything in the world to us, I will start by blessing you all with my Top Ten Greatest Nintendo Games. This was probably the most challenging thing I have ever had to do. There were just so many quality games but here we go.

10) Sk8 or Die- I'm not quite sure how many of you have even heard of this game but that doesn't even surprise me. In fact you probably don't even know what I meant when I said "the boys of Dogtown". It's ok, your not any less of a man/woman if you have no idea. It simply means your just not as kool as I.

9) Double Dribble- If I had a nickle for every time I reverse dunked on a fool then I would probably have a .com domain name for my site by now. I murdered every kid that ever tried to test me and I did it with class. I'm pretty sure I said the word "fuck" for the first time baggin on my buddy because he always took LA as his team. The only reason this game isn't higher on my list is because they didn't use real names or teams, which was BS. Typical NBA move.

8) Blades of Steal- Still to this day, hockey games are amongst the sickest games to play. There's nothing better than your buddy taking out the Goalie while you take a slap shot from 30 out. Although Blades of Steal wasn't this kind of game(2 players on the same team) it had to make my top ten because of the fighting. I could never win a damn fight, ever. Perhaps that's when my short fuse began to develop, who cares it was worth it.

7) North Vs. South- This is probably another game that only true Nintendo Wizards have mastered. The reason I love this game so much is because it was exactly like the board game Risk, only a bazillion times better. I was the king of leading my cavalry over through the old covered bridge, lookin like Hank Williams riding Sea Biscuit into the sunset after a big win for the south in Virginia.

6) SNK Baseball AKA Baseball Stars- There will never be a baseball game that even compares to Baseball Stars. Not even a chance, so shut up. SNK Baseball revolutionized everything. It was the first game that a team could be created, stats could be kept and that you could customize your own league. Bad ass right? Note: 1-6 can easily be interchangeable. SNK could easily be the greatest game ever created, period.

5) Super Mario Brothers 3- I was never a huge Super Mario Brothers fan until this one came out. I wasn't very good at it but something happened to me every time I'd put on that raccoon suit. I can only imagine I felt like Peter Fonda did when he would cruise the open roads in Easy Rider. Minus Crazy Jack hanging on to my waist, of course. Two men on a bike=homosexuality. Unless its a dirt bike or a 4wheeler.

4) Excitebike- I challenge anyone and everyone to try and attempt to set any kind of record on my homemade track. That's all I have to say. The only bad thing about this game was the horrible horrible music you had to endure if you wanted to hear the clean crisp exhaust on your bad ass little excite bike.

3) Mike Tyson's Punchout- Who did you have the most trouble beating in your quest for the title? The three toughest guys for me were Tyson, obviously, Mr. Sandman and the first Piston Honda. The three most over-rated fighters had to be Soda Popinski, the second Piston Honda and the Big fat King Hippo. The worst were easily Glass Joe, Don Flamingo and Von Kaiser. However, nobody was any match for Little Mac and Doc Louis.

2) Contra- Up up down down left right left right B A Select Start. Boom, 30 free guys. Spread guns, Lazors, double flips while killing shit, my peter just now twitched. Seriously.

1) Techmo Bowl/Techmo 2- this was an easy one for me. Personally I liked the original Techmo but Techmo 2 was also better than any game of its time too. I don't even need Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen to beat that ace. Give me Bernie Kosar and Kevin Mack all day long. Yeah, I just said I will beat you with the Browns, Mr. Kins.

Nintendo was just one of the many beautiful things the 80's had to offer. The only thing that could have made this decade better is if I was in High School at the time. Tube socks, mullets and Hair Pie. Long Live the 80's!!!

P.S. Nobody could cuff their jeans quite like I could. I had an inch and a half, cut your circulation off peg. Bros used to asked me to peg their shit for them, pathetic.