I must confess...

There comes a time in most men's lives that they just hafto accept who they are, embrace it, and then shout it from every mountain top. I am using this platform, at this very second to finally admit something only few people know about me, I am addicted to reality television. Much of my life is spent watching some of the dumbest reality television shows you could ever imagine. There's just something about it I cant explain. Maybe it's a self-esteem issue. Maybe it all makes me feel a little bit better about myself, maybe not. Nevertheless, I consider myself the greatest Big Brother Handicapper in the United States and I have seen every episode of The Real World and Road Rules ever made. I'm a legit Reality Television Expert. I'm your Huckleberry. Quietly, it is a dream of mine to go on one of these ridiculous shows and put my fifteen plus years of experience to the test. I was thinking about sending a video resume of myself to the next Big Brother but then I thought, I am way too cool to be cast for one of these shows. They would probably be all like, Goddy is too cute and he will probably just be in the sack the whole show bangin shit out or they will probably just reject me becuz I'm so athletic that it just wouldn't be fair to the average person on the show. I understand these things. Its like I said, I had to accept me for me and just roll with it.

Anyways, one of my favorite reality joints to smoke is a show called Undercover Boss. What a great fuckin show. These CEO's steppin up and getting their hands dirty, actually relating to the little guy and handing out Big Cheese to the employees that deserve it most. It's life changing stuff and I'm just privileged to be a part of it. My only thing with this show is this, how do these employees not see what the hell is really going on? And where in the F does production get the make-up/costume designers at? As if all the cameras being around weren't enough to make people think something was fishy, the cameras are on these guys in costume that look about as real as Donald Trumps synthetic comb over. I am demanding that Undercover Boss do something about this, today! We need to see these white CEO's painted black, the skinny broads need to become large. About 278 pounds large. You gotta work with me here, Undercover Boss People.

Here are a couple tips that can make this show as great as it should be:
1) There's this place in the United States called Hollywood. I bet you could find some talent in the Make-up department here. I need to see a vampire like transformation. Bullrings, tattoos, fangs, the whole nine.

2) If you can't get a real make-up artist then at least ask the CEO's to just go ahead and grow a real mustache and/or beard. Much more effective than the plastic Charlie Chaplin glue on stache.

I've been trolling you for three years now Undercover Boss people, three long years. Do something about this immediately or I will continue to watch and I wont say a word. Go ahead, tempt me.....

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