If MMA is Gay Then So is Your Second Favorite Sport...

Riddle me this? Are you one of those homophobic, macho pukes that doesn't watch MMA because you "don't want to see two grown men rolling around together?" Are you that insecure that you can't even make a gay joke about yourself without feeling uhhhh, like your gay? If you are then I reckon you probably have a big old truck with duel exhaust, a hemi and some cherry bombs on that shit. It's like peanut butter and jelly, insecurity and lift kits go hand and hand.

Now I'm not trying to piss on anybody's feet here, I'm only trying to broaden your horizons. I'm trying to help you help yourself, to become half as cool as we here at TwoBit Sports are. That's just not possible as long as I keep hearing things like "MMA is Gay" and "you gotta be a fag to wear those tights" and "ewww, he looks like he is 69'n that dude".....no, asshole, you're the one who must be gay for even thinking that. He's wearing those tights so he can kick the shit out you a little bit faster. See timing is everything, the quicker he knocks your dumb ass out the quicker he gets to the club where he will then steal Yo'Bitch, bitch.

Now wake up, every sport has its "gay" moments if your a homophobic butthole and view life and sports with such ignorance. Here's just a few examples....



Are football and rugby gay? Mr. Kins, I think this may be you in Cali, no?



Basketball, hmmmmmm??



How can anyone say that MMA is gay when strange things like this happen in baseball?



I was a soccer fan till about 10 seconds ago...

-- Case Closed --

Black Mamba wake up call

It's crazy but true that a wake up call to Kobe usually comes in the form of physical pain. On this I am of course referring to the D.Wade foul on Kobe in the all star game. Kobe burnt by Wade in a classic Showbee spin move and was about to give the fans a sick stylish Mamba dunk but Wade gave him a hard foul which broke the Kobesters nose. This was just another dirtbag move by Wade. He's been a dirty player his entire career but really never got that label. Kobe is considered a somewhat dirty player and I won't argue that. The difference is that Kobe can take the retaliation and Wade can't. Look we all know that Kobe can go out with fractured phalanges and a sprained wrist on his shooting hand, a twisted ankle and your probably going to see him drop 40. Wade however gets taken off the court in a wheel chair after a strained shoulder and misses a month. I constantly see Wade limp around the court and then hop up and throw down a reverse like nothing is wrong. Bottom line is Wade is a whiney bitch! Seriously Wade left in a wheel chair from a shoulder injury check it out.



Anyways though Kobe leads the league in scoring, he has not been having a great season (by his standards)He is just that good that he can lead in scoring while he's been half asleep all season. I think this is just what he and the Lakers needed, a painful injury to wake up The Black Mamba! So watch out western conference, he is getting out of bed now thanks to dirtbag Wade. Hear me now, my prediction is the Lakers will win the west! Kobe will get his revenge on Wade on the court in the form of ring number 6!!!

Czur Top 5

Okay not really doing much of an article here but I will give you my bang list. As I said in a comment about doing this list, those I'd most want to bang are not always the gals I think are the overall hottest looking. I think when it comes to who I would most want to bang there's alot of other things go into it. For example I really have a thing for Diane Kruger ever since the movie Wicker Park but when I think about body, legs, boobs, etc. she would fall farther down that list. So here is my bang list, hahaha.

5. Diane Kruger - I don't know what it is about her exactly but I gotta thing for her. It definitely goes back to the movie Wicker Park and I will admit I am a chick flix kinda guy if that makes any sense. The end of that movie when Coldplays Scientist is playing and she's standing there in the airport, Damn she's pertttttyyyy!!!! 

4. Katy Perry - So with Katy it could be the crazy ? It could be the fact that her parents are religious nuts yet she flaunts it like a stripper ? Okay Mr. Dobbs it might be those amazing eyes ? But it's probably just her big boobs. If you like boobs then this SNL skit (picture above) she did is a must see!

3. Elisha Cuthbert - Shes been pretty high on my list since her one night fling with Mitch (The Godfather) in the greatest movie ever, Old School. Her innocent looking awesomeness just does it for me.

2. Mila Kunis - I've never looked into her heritage but I know whatever it is, It's a mix of perfection. I really first recognized her in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. As I said before I'm a fan of the chick flick. I remember during that movie gettin stressed out about him not going after her (the hotel clerk). That's the chick flick lover in me I guess. She's got those eyes.....it's called heterochromia. That's when her eyes are each different colors. And that's something my girl has and I love it!

1. Gemma Atkinson - You might not know who she is but she's my number one for two reasons. First, look at her.... Second she is a Brit. She stared in the British soap opera Hollyoaks but I had never heard of that show or her until she became a model. I think if we were doing a top 10 there would be  2-3  more brits on the list. I love love love the accent and that's the main reason I put her number one.

Okay maybe it did turn into an article.

Andy "Geico" Luck Looks Like A New Man At The Combine.

It's no secret that I absolutely hate the NFL Combine. Sure I think it's a good measuring stick but its far too over-hyped. I put the NFL Combine hype in the same category as The Heisman, any MVP awards in any sport and even the National Championship. But please don't get me wrong, I'm a true sports fan and for some reason I can watch any "sport" any time of the day, all day long. Even the Combine. Especially when Andy Luck has been lookin so damn good.

Gone are the days of the caveman look for Luck. No more beard, no more long hair, no more ragged t-shirts with holes in the armpit. This is the new Andy Geico, The NFL bound Andy Geico, the "I'm gna clean myself up and get sum gash" Andy Geico. Just check out the fresh shave. All these years I had no idea that Andrew was a beaver. I'm thinking that Indy is the perfect place for Geico for this single reason; Andrew's beard and Peyton are one in the same. They both are capable of covering up hideous things.

*What are the chances Andy Geico gets turned out by the NFL lifestyle? Think Todd Marinovich.

The new Andy Geico, fresh to deff.

TOP 5 Celebrity Contest





All right gentlemen, its time to find out everyone's personal preference in celebrity fantasy.  Then we will compile it into the first annual TwoBitSports consensus top 5 celebs we want to bang.  To get an accurate picture, we will each list our personal choices 1 through 5 stars with the 5 star being the highest 4 star 2nd and so on down to the 1 star vote.  Post your top 5 as an article.  In the comments section rate each author's girls with 1 through 5 stars.  Once all the ratings and counter ratings are complete the total stars for each girl will be added up to determine TwoBitSports top 5.  With GOD willing, good fortune, and everyone's hard work we will hold this event every year on Valentine's Day.  Remember each year new celebs come along and current ones turn 18.  In famous words of Matthew McConaughey  "Naw, man. That's what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age"  from Dazed and Confused.  All right, all kidding aside, its time to get down to serious business.

* Coco Sumner-  Most people won't even know who she is, but the Police's lead man Sting's daughter is following in his footsteps releasing her first single a year or so ago.  In some pictures she looks hot, in others well not so much.  However there is just something about her.  I don't if its because she is akin to a female version of Kurt Cobain, and me being a teenager in the 90's still wonders what the music world would be like if Kurt were still around.  Regardless she's Sting's daughter, attractive to me, and cool enough to rock a Butthole Surfer's T-shirt.  Plus she's only a 1 star.

(On this blog pic is blurry, but in my pics the shirt is clear.)

** Katie Perry - Her eyes are awesome and so is the rest of her.  If it weren't for the scantily clad outfits she now wears at every concert or photo shoot she may not have made it, especially if it was pre-pro active solution days.  The pics speak for themselves on her sex appeal.

I never knew her juggies were that hugenormous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*** Megan Fox/ Famke Janssen - I generally like girls that are somewhat different.  I'm not the type to usually fall for the stereo typical hollwood hottie, but Megan Fox is just that damn hot!  Megan's eyes are even more mesmerizing than Katie Perry's.  I have Famke as a tie, not because I want to cheat and squeeze in another girl, but Famke is Megan in 10 years and vice versa.  It depends if I feel the need for a teen or a cougar.

**** Elizabeth Banks - This was a tough one because I knew Banks was hot in Zack and Miri make a porno, and I thought she was the main bad chick in mean girls, but I was wrong.  Rachel McAdams was in mean girls. They look nearly identical in pics, so I went with the one with the most star power.

***** Asa Akira - Most of you will not recognize the name, but you may recognize her other areas.  She is a celeb in her own right.  She won 2 AVN awards this year.  The AVN is the Oscar's of the adult film industry.  She won the award for best anal scene and best double penetration, I bet her mother is proud!!!  This post was all about getting laid, so why not let a professional handle it, and with her you won't have to act like it slipped and went in the wrong place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paper Airplanes, Paper Football and Paper Airplane Football...

Former Cal quarterback Joe Ayoob set a new world record on Sunday when he threw a paper airplane 226 feet and 10 inches. Ayoob wasn't the most impressive QB in college that's for sure but he was good enough to sign as an undrafted free-agent with the Arena Football Central Valley Coyotes in 2008. In 2005, Ayoob completed 136 passes on 280 attempts in his senior season at Cal. He also threw for 1,912 yds and 16 tuddys. When your talking about a QB of this stature it really comes as no surprise that this bro threw a paper airplane almost the distance of a football field. Very impressive stuff.

A couple things came to mind when I was watching this video. First, the obvious. Are QBs now the next generation of paper airplane throwers? I mean, does paper airplane throwing require a certain technique, a certain motion that only bros that have played the QB position obtain? If that's the case then why can't I throw a paper airplane further than ten feet? Hell, I can't even make a paper airplane let alone toss it properly. The second thing that popped into my beautiful mind was all great Paper Football games I have played in my career. I know I say I'm the best at everything (because I pretty much am) but when it came to desktop paper football, Goddy has some serious clout. It's the intangibles, it's the little things that make me the paper football player I am to this day. Paper football isn't all about being able to hold your bearings under pressure, its about the placement, the technique and ultimately the flick. While most use their pointer finger and others their middle, your boy has proven that the ring finger is by far the most effective when it comes to flicking that long FG to win the game. With the proper technique and enough experience, flicking with your ring finger allows the flick to get big ups as long as you have the proper hold. I smell a Two Bit Paper Football Tourney and it smells like fuckin roses.

The Paper Football Design was also a very important part of the game itself. You could feel your opponent out just by looking at the design of his paper pill. Did he have to use tape on his pill, because that slows down the velocity of the shove which could in turn result in great field position. It could also mean that if the tape somehow came loose then that would directly affect the direction of his flick. It's a science. Was he a flashy paper footballer? Did he have all kinds of color and shine to his rock? 9 times out of 10 the kid who had the pretty paper football was the kid I could beat in 3 minutes flat. Woody Harrelson said it best in White Men Cant Jump, "Some guys would just rather look good and lose than look bad and win." That goes without saying, I didn't need no stinkin tape. I didn't have any flashy designs or color coordination. I just got the thing done and moved on to the next pud that tried to test me.

Finally, I couldn't help but to think that maybe, just maybe, there is a way to incorporate paper football and paper airplanes. I'm not sure that's possible but if it is, my promise to you is this, I will figure it out and make it happen. I'm calling dibs on Joe Ayoob tho, rest assure he will be my first round pick and the future of my future franchise.

*My Famous Paper Football Logo. Tell me this doesn't say "oh shit, this kids no joke".

Nascar Needs to Make the Monday Night Move!

You asked for it Mr. Kins, well now you have it. Two-Bit's second Nascar post and what a dandy it shall be.

Even tho I don't believe that Nascar in any way should be considered a sport, I do from time to time catch myself watching a race or two throughout the season. Ok, so I watch more than a race or two. Ok, so maybe I'm a little Jeff Gordon fan and I don't want to admit it because I'm afraid that my boys will make fun of me. Ok, so maybe if they call mountain biking, cliff diving, cross country skiing and swimming, sports, then I'm gna go ahead and consider Nascar a sport.

With that said, something magical happened in the world of Nascar this weekend. As fate would have it(or just shitty weather) The Daytona 500 was postponed until Monday Night presenting a golden opportunity to the sport. This was hands down the best race I have ever watched. Maybe it was the lights, maybe it was just my throbbing Danica Patrick hard-on, I don't know, but it just seemed to me that Nascar has been missing out on the Monday Night scene for far too long. So here is my proposal, it's simple. The Daytona 500 should be ran, or do I say raced.....on Monday Night every year from this day forward. But it won't. And that's why it will be another 5 years before I make it a point to sit down with a case of Natty Light and watch a race from beginning to end.

Rednecks UNITE! Do something with your Sunday afternoons for Christ sake. Get off your fat ass and take your stupid wife and kids to the Zoo or something. Cash in your wife-beater you bought at the Dollar General, put on your dancing shoes and stick it to your old lady. Sundays are suppose to be for either football or doin it doggy style.

T.O. Don't Play No Away Games...

So I saw this story a few days ago but for some reason, even my evil genius didn't see the real story behind this story. It's no secret that I may be one of the biggest/only T.O. fans that isn't embarrassed to admit it.

Fact: The World Champion Fantasy Football Skilletlickerz won the Title this season with Terrell on their Taxi Squad. That's how much I love T.O. I just brought my boy along for the ride. It doesn't even matter that T.O. sat out the entire NFL season last year, it doesn't even matter if anybody wants him in their locker rooms, because The SkilletLickerz did. Needless to say, Terrell Eldorado Owens played an intricate part in The SkilletLickerz Championship this year and T.O. continues to do it big, on so many levels.



Shortly after Eldorado was fitted for his championship ring, The Skillet's ownership allowed Terrell to branch out and just do Terrell, and that's exactly what my man did. He soon became part owner and player for the Allen Wranglers, deep in the heart of Texas. By the way, fuck Texas!! Stupid Alamo. Anyways, part of the agreement T.O. made with the Wranglers was that he would not be traveling with the team to any of the other 15 cities The IFL has teams in. He would only travel and play in any away games if he was compensated for it. Here's the kicker, here's the power move, here is a World Champion at work; Eldorado Owens is demanding the kick back not come from his own team, he expects the Opposing team to pay him when he steps into their arena. T.O. don't play no away games and if he does, the other team better ante up and plum bow down.

This honestly makes my dick hard right here. T.O. calls the shots and that's all there is to it. He has done it his way from day one and nobody can ever change that. T.O. epitomizes the word "class". They don't give just any two bit, classless, wanna-be their own reality television show. Have you not seen The Real Housewives of Orange County? Pure class. So if you want to hate on my boy, Eldorado, just remember who your dealing with. Bow down.

P.S. Should I keep T.O. on my fantasy team for next year? I'm thinkin I may drop Dez Bryant and keep Eldorado. T.O. will play in the NFL next year and then ya'll can suck me and tell me how I'm a color-blind Genius.

~Thanks to Fat Staff fer keepin me on my toes~

3 Tuddy's in his debut? Bow down

Lindsay Lohan in playboy.  What do you think about it?

Ok.  I know you were all hopin to see the actual pics, but i don't know age requirements, licensing issues, etc. for this blog or the fair use of other people's pics, so you got this cover and you can use your imagination for the rest.  Now personally I have never been a fan of Lindsay though i didn't mind watching mean girls because all the other chicks were hot.  Secondly I must add that ive never found Lindsay to be attractive.  At the best of times she was average and during her rehab strung out days well gross would be the appropriate word.  Now, I have to add that if any of us were on the set of playboy magazine and we came across L.L. posing for the spread or should I say spreading for the pose, would not hesitate to um to put this delicately fornicate with her.  I know that I shouldn't speak for others, but too many of you out there will lie and say no way she's nasty.  Most strippers are nasty but i've had my share and more.  So before any of you lie and say you wouldnt hit it i beg to differ and call your bluff!!!!!!!!   Remember fellow authors I've known you ODBs for years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Losing Liberty Part 2



Originally my second part of this series was going to encompass the practice of "pork politics", where a bill will have hidden within its pages other legislation used to buy the vote of individual senators.  This happens all the time and therefore is probably quite well known to the general population.  Therefore i'm going to fore go the topic of "pork politics" and instead focus on a topic that is far more serious to the loss of liberty of we the people.

USNORTHCOM or Northern Command is the designation for a military unit that is tasked with securing the national interests within the U.S., Mexico, and Canada.  I don't think the Casnadians need our help.  Mexico, at least in the border towns does.  What about within the bounderies of the U.S.?  We will get to that in a moment.  NORTHCOM was created in April of 2002 and went operational in October of the same year.  It was approved after 9/11 by president Bush under the new unified command plan.  When it was first put in place it was restricted under the Posse Comitatus Act.  Posse Comitatus restricts the use of military forces within the continental U.S.  The founding fathers were of the belief that having a combat unit and command structure for use in the states was against the interests of the citizens, and if troops were deployed for action in the U.S. then it would be ripe for abuse.  The scope of activity for NORTHCOM was to be during times of natural disaster relief such as during hurrican Katrina. 

MILITARY COMMISIONS ACT OF 2006

This act lifted the restrictions put in place by the Posse Comitatus Act.  The supreme court ruled that the Military Commisions Act was unconstitutional.  However, further legislation was enable in 2007 under the John Warner Defense Act.  Ron Paul Rep. Texas, is against this legislation, as are the majority of freedom loving americans.  However as is often the case the voice and the will of the people are considered null and void, and repressive legislation continues to be passed.

3rd I.D. 1st Combat Brigade

The 3rd infantry division of the 1st combat brigade was assigned to NORTHCOM in October of 2008.  This unit had been previously stationed in Iraq.  This marked the first time that an active unit was placed under the direct authority of NORTHCOM.  This unit is an active combat unit and is now operational for use within the borders of the U.S. 

NSPD 51

National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive created and signed on May 7, 2007 by then president Bush.  According to Wikipedia:

The National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive (National Security Presidential Directive NSPD 51/Homeland Security Presidential Directive HSPD-20, sometimes called simply "Executive Directive 51" for short), created and signed by United States President George W. Bush on May 4, 2007, is a Presidential Directive which claims power to execute procedures for continuity of the federal government in the event of a "catastrophic emergency". Such an emergency is construed as "any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions." ^[1]
The unclassified portion of the directive was posted on the White House website on May 9, 2007, without any further announcement or press briefings,^[2] although Special Assistant to George W. Bush Gordon Johndroe answered several questions on the matter when asked about it by members of the press in early June 2007.^[2

Unfortunately we only know the unclassified portions of this bit of legislation.  The president can declare a state of emergency due to a national emergency be it natural disaster, terrorist attack, disruption in infrastructure, or eco-financial disaster.  In effect the constitution and all of the protections placed in it would be suspended.  We would then live in a state of martial law.  Personally i feel that no one man be he president or senator should have the power to suspend the constitution.  The whole video below is informative, the most disturbing part starts at 2:01.

The above video demonstrates what can and will happen during a state of emergency.  This was just the police, imagine when its a battle hardened combat unit.  Don't get me wrong i believe their are people out their who wish to harm the U.S., however i never feel that the steps to crackdown on terrorism or any disaster should be worse than the disaster itself.  If the goverment gets such power will they ever relinquesh it.  Part 3 to follow...........

Is This the Greatest Double Rainbow Reaction in the History of All Double Rainbow Reactions or What?

Who is this guy? I need to meet this dude. I guarantee he has a stash of some shit that literally would have killed Elvis. I'm all about nature, I'm a West Virginian and I can only hope that when I see my first double rainbow I'm as boner-ridden as this cat.

Long Live The 80's: My Top Ten Greatest Nintendo Games of All Time

Was there ever a better time to grow up than the 80's? From the boys of Dogtown to Dire Straits on MTV, from Turbo and Ozone in the movie Breakin to Emelio and St. Elmo's fire, from Larry Bird to Marry Lou Retton.....there was just no better era in the history of man. In my feeble attempt to re-live the days where there was no central air, no iPhones and the 4th of July ribbons we won merking the competition in the potato sack and three legged race meant everything in the world to us, I will start by blessing you all with my Top Ten Greatest Nintendo Games. This was probably the most challenging thing I have ever had to do. There were just so many quality games but here we go.

10) Sk8 or Die- I'm not quite sure how many of you have even heard of this game but that doesn't even surprise me. In fact you probably don't even know what I meant when I said "the boys of Dogtown". It's ok, your not any less of a man/woman if you have no idea. It simply means your just not as kool as I.

9) Double Dribble- If I had a nickle for every time I reverse dunked on a fool then I would probably have a .com domain name for my site by now. I murdered every kid that ever tried to test me and I did it with class. I'm pretty sure I said the word "fuck" for the first time baggin on my buddy because he always took LA as his team. The only reason this game isn't higher on my list is because they didn't use real names or teams, which was BS. Typical NBA move.

8) Blades of Steal- Still to this day, hockey games are amongst the sickest games to play. There's nothing better than your buddy taking out the Goalie while you take a slap shot from 30 out. Although Blades of Steal wasn't this kind of game(2 players on the same team) it had to make my top ten because of the fighting. I could never win a damn fight, ever. Perhaps that's when my short fuse began to develop, who cares it was worth it.

7) North Vs. South- This is probably another game that only true Nintendo Wizards have mastered. The reason I love this game so much is because it was exactly like the board game Risk, only a bazillion times better. I was the king of leading my cavalry over through the old covered bridge, lookin like Hank Williams riding Sea Biscuit into the sunset after a big win for the south in Virginia.

6) SNK Baseball AKA Baseball Stars- There will never be a baseball game that even compares to Baseball Stars. Not even a chance, so shut up. SNK Baseball revolutionized everything. It was the first game that a team could be created, stats could be kept and that you could customize your own league. Bad ass right? Note: 1-6 can easily be interchangeable. SNK could easily be the greatest game ever created, period.

5) Super Mario Brothers 3- I was never a huge Super Mario Brothers fan until this one came out. I wasn't very good at it but something happened to me every time I'd put on that raccoon suit. I can only imagine I felt like Peter Fonda did when he would cruise the open roads in Easy Rider. Minus Crazy Jack hanging on to my waist, of course. Two men on a bike=homosexuality. Unless its a dirt bike or a 4wheeler.

4) Excitebike- I challenge anyone and everyone to try and attempt to set any kind of record on my homemade track. That's all I have to say. The only bad thing about this game was the horrible horrible music you had to endure if you wanted to hear the clean crisp exhaust on your bad ass little excite bike.

3) Mike Tyson's Punchout- Who did you have the most trouble beating in your quest for the title? The three toughest guys for me were Tyson, obviously, Mr. Sandman and the first Piston Honda. The three most over-rated fighters had to be Soda Popinski, the second Piston Honda and the Big fat King Hippo. The worst were easily Glass Joe, Don Flamingo and Von Kaiser. However, nobody was any match for Little Mac and Doc Louis.

2) Contra- Up up down down left right left right B A Select Start. Boom, 30 free guys. Spread guns, Lazors, double flips while killing shit, my peter just now twitched. Seriously.

1) Techmo Bowl/Techmo 2- this was an easy one for me. Personally I liked the original Techmo but Techmo 2 was also better than any game of its time too. I don't even need Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen to beat that ace. Give me Bernie Kosar and Kevin Mack all day long. Yeah, I just said I will beat you with the Browns, Mr. Kins.

Nintendo was just one of the many beautiful things the 80's had to offer. The only thing that could have made this decade better is if I was in High School at the time. Tube socks, mullets and Hair Pie. Long Live the 80's!!!

P.S. Nobody could cuff their jeans quite like I could. I had an inch and a half, cut your circulation off peg. Bros used to asked me to peg their shit for them, pathetic.

STEELER FANS JUST WIN BABY????

By: Steve Dobbs

The Pittsburgh Steelers and the Oakland Raiders have a long and storied rivalry.  Many hard fought battles have occurred at three rivers, Heinz field, and the black hole.  Unbelievable plays such as the legendary immaculate reception and hall of fame caliber players such as Mean Joe Greene, Marcus Allen, Jack Lambert, Ted “the mad stork” Hendricks, Tim Brown, Franco, and of course Terry Bradshaw and possibly the most recognizable definitely the longest lasting Al Davis graced the field over the long years of this incredible rivalry.

Most Steeler fans hate Al Davis. O.K. maybe hate is too strong, but at least the majority dislikes him.  In fact fans who don’t love the silver and black often have no love for Al Davis.  The above reference to a great rivalry could just as easily played out in another state against another team with another cast of fantastic players and another set of fans who either love or hate or love to hate Al Davis.  I chose the Steelers for two reasons.  First, I live on all sides surrounded by within spitting distance of multiple Steeler fans.  I’m from WV and since we have no professional team by default everybody is crazy about the Steelers.  Of course Cleveland is pretty close but we won’t get into that.  I don’t blame the population for choosing Pittsburgh.  The second reason is a conversation between Bradshaw and Al Davis shortly after Bradshaw’s retirement, which has only come to light after Al Davis recent death.  The story according to Bradshaw was as follows:

“When I retired from the Steelers I went home to my ranch in Louisiana and one day I got a call from Al Davis.  He asked me what are you doing?   How are you doing?  Then I’ll never forget this, he asks me how are you doing financially?  Well I don’t have any money coming in I don’t have any money going out.  And, He said if you ever need anything at all, call me.  And, I said yes sir, I appreciate that.”  

Bradshaw was his rival on the field.  Bradshaw beat his team and went to the super bowl.  They weren’t friends, nor were they enemies.  They held a mutual respect and Al Davis reached out to help if it was needed.  That was but one of the examples of what a great man Al Davis was off the field.  When superstar linebacker Derrick Thomas was tragically killed, the funeral was paid for by Al Davis.  For those of you unfamiliar with Thomas, he’s a hall of famer who was killed in a car wreck.  He played for Kansas City.  Yes Kansas City another Oakland rival. That’s just the type of guy Al Davis was.

Davis paid the medical expenses for his former players.  He gave his former players jobs when they were in need.  His motto was once a raider always a raider.  There were many other incidents of exemplary conduct on Davis part.  He was the first to hire a latino coach in Tom Flores.  He was the first in the modern era to hire a African American coach in Art Shell.  He was the first to have a female as management in the front office.  Most importantly it was Davis who was absolutely vital in making the NFL the multi-billion dollar industry that it is today.  In the 60’s when the AFL was around Davis was crucial in forcing the merger.  Otherwise we may have two football leagues, neither of which would be what the NFL is today.  So Steeler fans, Kansas City fans, and for that matter all football fans, take a moment to remember a man that truly had a commitment to excellence.   

Losing Liberty Part 1

by: Steve Dobbs

 2/27/2012

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy….. The loss of liberty at home is to be charged to the provisions against danger real or IMAGINED, from abroad.”

                                                                                        ---James Madison---

Beginning on that fateful day in September of 2001, or not really the beginning but a major acceleration of governmental intrusion into the lives of its citizens occurred.  We as citizens of this great nation were asked to give up our freedom for security.  As president Bush finished his speech to thunderous applause it reminded me of the scene from star wars where Palpatine (a senator in the galactic republic who would later become the dark emperor for those of you unfamiliar with the movies) made a speech before their version of congress.  The gist of the speech was that terror from within borders made it necessary to suspend their Republic in favor of a dictator style government with emergency powers to ensure safety and prosperity.  One senator opposed to the change said,” So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.”  Legislation put in place to secure our borders often infringe upon our liberty.  Bills such as The USAPATRIOT Act and the equally chilling NDAA which was recently passed are but two of many which take away liberty.

The NDAA allows for the indefinite detention of U.S. citizens without due process of law.  Lindsay Graham a legislator who is for the bill stated,” The homeland is part of the battlefield and people can be held without trial whether they are an American citizen or not.”  The majority of Americans, myself included are opposed to this type of legislation.  However, it appears that our elected officials are unsympathetic to the will and the voice of the people who have elected them.  We will get back to the NDAA, but first I’d like to take a moment to enlighten the reader to the myriad of bills and executive orders that have been put in place over the decades without the approval of we the people.

In 1962 an executive order  was signed that designated dictatorial powers be given to the president of the united states in the event of a national emergency.  The president would be able to declare a state of emergency during a time of international crisis, economical or financial crises at his discretion. (Please note the constitution does not give any such authority for a president to declare a state of emergency.)

Executive order #10995 seizure of all communication in the U.S.

#10997 seizure of all electric power, fuels, minerals both public and private

#10999 seizure of all means of transportation including personal cars and trucks, total control of highways, seaports, and waterways

#11000 seizure of all American people for work forces under federal supervision to include splitting up of families if the government sees the need

#11001 seizure of all health, education, and welfare facilities both public and private

#11002 empower the postmaster general to register all men, women, and children in the U.S.

#11003 seizure of all airports and aircraft both public and private

#11004 seizure of all housing and forced relocation

#11005 seizure of all railroads and all storage facilities both public and private

#12919 President Clinton signed on June 3, 1994 placing all of the above executive orders into one.

All of the above executive orders as well as the many bills that have been passed into law are designed to undermine the constitution of the U.S.  All members of congress, the military, and the president take an oath to defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic.  Compare quotes from Abe Lincoln to our current president.

“Don’t interfere with the constitution.  It must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties.” –Abraham Lincoln

“The constitution is an imperfect document which has definite flaws…..” Barack Obama

Our founding fathers knew that the constitution and bill of rights were documents designed to safeguard the freedom of the citizens of America.  Meanwhile both republican and democratic presidents such as Bush and Obama have took it upon themselves to undermine the series of checks and balance inherent in the constitutions framework.  There are some proponents of the constitution around the halls of capitol hill.  Men such as Ron Paul (Tx) and Dennis Kucinich (Oh) oppose any legislation that impose upon the freedom of the people.  Unfortunately they are few and far between and each year we citizens watch as our liberties are eroded. 

The NDAA sets a dangerous precedence.  In combination with the homegrown terrorism and violent radicalization act it would be a disaster for civil liberties.  The homegrown terrorism and violent radicalization act would permit the government to label venerated American political activities such as civil disobedience as terrorist acts. 

“We the people are the rightful masters of both the congress and the courts, not to overthrow the constitution but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution.” –Abraham Lincoln-

It’s time for the American people to take notice of what happens in the halls of congress.  We need to hold our elected representatives accountable for the bills they support and the laws they pass.  In the second part of this article we will look at how legislation is hidden in large bills that are passed through the house and senate without being thoroughly read.  In the third and final part we will uncover the biggest threat and most unconstitutional  sham ever perpetrated against the people of the U.S. (THE FEDERAL RESERVE ACT).     

                                                                                            

Song of the epoc

 After just seeing the lil Weezy I just had to post some real hip hop. This is a top 10 all time rap song and i don't think it's debatable. So if you disagree with its top 10 status just be quiet because you are an idiot that should not comment on hip hop because you have no idea what it is.

Just say no to the scoring pg ?

Okay so we know that you can't win a title if your top scorer on the team is your point gaurd. History shows that no team with a pg who finished in the top 5 scorers in the league has ever won a title. Iverson got to the finals but I don't think he was actually the pg on that team. Rose is an absolute badass and he's incredible to watch but they will not win a title unless they bring in a true pg and move him to the 2 spot. Last year i was convinced that Rose just needed more scorers around him, that he just felt he had to do it all. It's pretty obvious to me now that he will always feel like they have a better shot if he takes it then anyone else. I mean he knows he's by far the best player on the team. Russell Westbrook is not like Rose as far as being the best player on his team. I think these two are different in alot of ways but one thing they share is they won't win a title. These two are different because i think Rose really just wants a title and Westbrook just wants to be a star. I think OKC needs to trade Westbrook, especially while he's all star status. The Bulls obviously shouldnt trade Rose, but they should take a look at what Larry Brown did with the sixers and Iverson. They took Iverson off the ball most of the time and used Eric Snow at the point. I don't think Rose is a selfish player but it's obviuos the team does not stay involved enough with him running the offense and  scoring 25 a night. One thing I gotta say is that Rose has brought them out of the post Jordan depression and they are pretty good. But are they real title contenders? I don't think so

So question is, do you just say no to the scoring point gaurd? I would say no if your Cleveland, Minnesota, or the many other franchises that has no real shot at contending for a big 3. But if you're a glamour city or a franchise with tradition then JUST SAY NO TO THE SCORING POINT GAURD!!!  

Eastbound and Down is the greatest thing going on HBO

Will Farrell's HBO comedy Mini Series is by far the funniest show i have seen since Seinfeld. Obviously i am bias to Seinfeld because of my Jewish Heritage and my circumcised weener. Nevertheless, Kenny Powers is my hero. Theres just something about a man that can live the life of a rock star, take care of a child and still throw a 101mph fastball that makes my peter twitch. Not to mention he may be the best jet skier i have ever seen in my life. I see you Kenny Powers, i see you.

Need Anymore Proof that NBA has Gone Off Their Rocker?

This pretty much proves my point, The NBA has completley lost thier minds. Little Wayne, AKA President Carter, AKA Wheezy, was in rare form this evening during the pre-game show.

This also proves my point that true, American Hip Hop music is dead. As dead as Old Dirty, Tupac and Biggie. Just spit on your grave dead.

P.S. Little Wayne, suck me. Drink sum codeine and die already.

UPDATE!

Baby Bron Bron has just lost the All-Star game for the East with a key turnover with 3 seconds remaining. Doesn't matter the level, Lebron strait chokes.

What is Worse, the NBA All-Star Game? Or Chris Brown and Pitt-Bull?

As if The NBA All-Star game isn't bad enough, now they have endorsed probably my two least favorite people on this God Forsaken Earth. Pitt-Bull must have made an unbelievable impression during his halftime show at the Superbowl because The NBA has invited him to join forces with Chris Brown at halftime of this years All-Star Game.

First of all, I want to talk about this artist named Pitt-Bull. Biggest effing Dooshbag of all time. He runs around in all black with his bald ass head, pants pulled up to his nipples, rapping to techno music and calling it "Hip-Hop". Is this really what America is asking for? What happened to my beloved Hip Hop Music?

Secondly, Chris Brown? Really? Has America forgot about what this kid did to Rhianna? Has men beating the living shit out of chicks really become that acceptable? Back in the good old days, this dude's career would have been over with and he probably would have had his shit packed in by now by someone. Not in 2012 tho, in 2012 we obviously celebrate talent over morals. How does the NBA endorse Chris Brown? How does he get the halftime show at the NBA All-Star game? If you would watch the entire video of the half time show you can plainly see the kid isn't even as talented as he used to be so I have zero explanation.

The only conclusions I can draw from this are as follows:
1) The NBA is full of thugs and low lifes anyways, so Chris Brown is perfect for this Gig.
2) Nobody, except for me is watching this stupid game therefore who really cares?

P.S. Rhianna used to be a smoke, until she got back together with this piece of S#€T who did this too her. I don't know, maybe she deserved it for getting that stupid haircut.

Song of the epoc

Leonard Cohen is fabulous in this youthful homage to fun. Mr. Cohen lifts spirits and adds smiles with witty insight into the human soul. No digital collection is complete without "Banjo". Check it out if you like to smile.

Racing Towards Freedom

This is one of two cars stickered up with Ron Paul logos that will be racing in Daytona tomorrow. An idea that started about two months ago from Ron Paul supporters. The idea came about threw social media threw some of the hundreds of Ron Paul facebook pages. Never thought I would ever do a Nascar related story but I just thought this was kinda cool and it's definitely a first. Obviously this is a great way to advertise and it's a great example of just how creative and passionate the Congressman's supporters are.

Red Alert: The 2012 Offseason QB Scramble

Of course, my first official long form article for the Two Bit site clearly has to be about NFL QBs, right? It is a little too early to write the NFL QB Value Rankings (which by the way, we had Eli Manning at number four and ahead of Tom Brady around week four of last year while all the "experts" were knocking him for calling himself "Elite"). Suck it "Experts". Suck it long and hard! Ooo, yeah, experts!

Instead, I am rating and then ranking each NFL team's QB position as of right this minute (9:26 AM on Friday, February 24 in case you care) in an effort to predict what moves teams are likely to make and who the starting QB will be for each team (barring injury) on kickoff weekend 2012. And then, most importantly, what is the coming fate of the big QB dominoes (the QB moves that will start other dominoes to fall) like Peyton Manning, Matt Flynn and the rookies, Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III.

To begin, I made a list of each team's QB of the moment and sometimes included the backup when appropriate (see picture of my handwritten notes). Then I ranked each team based on my preception of their satisfaction with their QB (a quick 1-5 grade) to see what the big picture of the league really is.

My grades are as follows:

5. The QB is locked in as the starter and nothing short of a godfather type offer would even be considered before being rudely rejected (think Aaron Rodgers).

4. It would be tough for the team to make a change but they aren't completely locked into the guy either (think Michael Vick).

3. The team is would be open to making a change if the right opportunity was presented but it rather unlikely (think Timmy Tebow).

2. The team is actively looking for (or at least should be looking for) an upgrade at QB but may be a year away from making the move (think Blaine Gabbert).

1. Teams that are definitely going to have a new QB next year (think Colts and Peyton Manning).

My first thoughts are how many teams are actually pretty set at QB. I have fourteen teams rated at a five (Nearly half of the league!). Remember this isn't totally a QB ranking, just a rating of how satisfied teams are with their current QB situation and therefore the likelihood that they will make a change at QB or draft a QB to start next year. Fives are not going to be involved in the QB carasol and therefore we aren't going to spend much time on them. The four teams that I have rated as ones are the teams that are almost certainly going to make a change at QB.

The Fives

Brady, Big Ben, Flacco, Dalton, Schaub, Rivers, Eli, Rodgers, Cutler, Stafford, Brees, Ryan, Newton and Freeman. Of the group, only Brady is in what most would consider the autumn of their career but it seems safe to say he has five good years left in him. In fact, I could see him outlasting at least half of this list of guys with their current teams. Will Brady be a Patriot longer than Schaub, Flacco, Cutler or Freeman remain with their teams?

A couple of interesting things could happen with this group that could affect the coming season. First, Matt Flynn will likely be the most coveted free agent QBs. The Packers could franchise him with the intention of trading him. With the Dolphins new coach, Joe Philbin having not only the best knowledge of Flynn's ability but also the closest relationship to the Packer organization, is there already some negotiation in the works? A trade would cost the Dolphins some assets but would greatly lower Flynn's leverage in contract negotiations. If Flynn hits the free agent market, multiple bidders could drive up his purchase price.

Similiarly, the Patriot's Bobby Hoyer could be a quieter, lower cost version of the Matt Flynn. Hoyer is not likely a starter next year however.

The Fours

Vick, Romo, Bradford and Smith. The fours are the group that Mr. Armstrong will certainly be critical of with his common cat call that I am predicting both rain and no rain but, whatever. Screw you. These guys are franchise guys who are in a "prove it" type of season. Next year these guys could be reestablish themselves as long term franchise type guys or their teams could be in the market for a new starting QB. Am I wishy washy on these guys? I don't care. Screw you. If they perform well, stay healthy and make a playoff run, they will be seriously elevated. They could be next season's version of Eli Manning.

Everyone is questioning their ability to win the big one but if they do then everyone (Note: for future reference "everyone" generally means the main stream sports media, primarily the talking heads on ESPN, who can praise someone on Saturday and crush them on Sunday night) will be asking stupid @ss questions like, "does this one solo win mean that Eli has surpassed his Hall of Fame brother's 14 year career?" or "I always knew Alex Smith had it in him....it was just a question of having confidence...what? The Niners lost? I always knew that Alex Smith couldn't win the big one."

I can't put these guys at fives because I think their teams are more reluctantly committed to them and could quickly change direction if things don' go so well next year. Romo and Vick have made long careers of looking incredible and gaining great respect in the league despite mostly mediocre results. Another non-playoff year and I think both the Eagles and Cowboys make a change. Bradford is a young guy that most people agree should be a franchise QB but take away his college resume, drafted first overall and his hefty contract and would the Rams be committed to him? Has he earned his status with his play on the field? Probably not, but he was the first overall pick a few years ago and still has great potential so he still gets rated a four.

Alex Smith. Smitty? There isn't a starting QB in the NFL that I would rate below Alex Smith. Well, maybe Tebow. But after last year's success and how close the Niners were to the Super Bowl, you have to assume the Niners bring back the Shitter. I don't believe in any way that the Niners success last year was due to do a resurgence on the part of Shitty. This isn't, however, a QB rating. I am rating teams on their stability at QB and how likely they are to make a change at QB. If Shitty agrees to the NIners contract offer, he will be back. If he doesn't, then he is truly a shitpile. I am guessing that he does and the franchise goes forward with Shitty until he fails and then they will bring in their second year guy, Colin Kaepernick. Therefore, they get a four.

The Threes

The teams that I have ranked as threes are potential players in the QB Scramble but they would be wildcards. I wouldn't expect any one of them in particular to make a change but I would expect at least one of them will. I don't think that made sense. Hmmmm. Alright, I wouldn't bet on any one of them in particular to make a change but if you asked if any of the would, then yes, I would make a bet that one of them does. Hope that cleared that up.

I have Sanchez, Fitzpatrick, the Hasselbeck/Locker combo, Gabbert, Palmer, Cassell, Tebow/Quinn and Ponder/Webb all rated as threes. The Raiders have invested too much in Palmer to make a move and they have no draft picks due to stupidity. Gabbert and Ponder are second year guys and you have to assume the Vikes and Jags will give them at least one more year before trying again in the draft. Cassell and Fitzpatrick are guys that you just have to see one more year to decide if they are legit franchise guys or not.

That leaves the Jets, Titans and Broncos as the interesting teams from this group. The Jets have in Sanchez, a guy that in three years as a starter after one year of starting in college, has been to two AFC championship games. For a historical perspective, a list of the QBs that have made the AFC title game as a Jets starter along with the number of times...

Mark Sanchez (twice)

Richard Todd (once)

Vinny Testaverde (once)

Add in pre-merger championship games

Joe Namath (once)

Hmmm...yeah. Good idea to give up on this guy. All he has done in three years has been to handle the New York media that has crushed so many others and make that franchise relevant in spite of a low mouthed and at times, embarrassing defensively oriented head coach and a confused failure of an offensive coordinator. If the Jets make a change at QB and/or release Mark Sanchez, then the Jets deserve their embarrassing franchise history. That said, I can't see the Jets making a change yet. Sanchez may not turn out to be a great QB but has earned at least one mulligan of a season.

Tebow. Just his name alone is a paragraph. I stand by my contention that the Broncos should rid themselves of the Tebow disease as soon as possible. Unfortunately, his fan base may storm Bronco headquarters and begin decapitating people if that happened. Unless someone just blew them away with a trade proposal (come on Jaguars, you know you need the Teabag), the Broncos are going to go into next year with one of the all time worst passers in the history of organized football. My prediction: Brady Quinn is the starter by week twelve next year followed by the Broncos desperately resigning Kyle Orton to finish the season. The Broncos schedule next year will be much more difficult than the SEC type powerpuff sched that the Teebs built his fame on. With an offseason to prepare, I would be surprised if the Broncos won a division game next year.

Finally, the Titans with Matt Hasselbeck and the future guy, Jake Locker. I can't actually see the Titans making a major move at QB. They seem to be set with the now guy and the future guy. But...the one thing I would love to see this offseason would be the Colts stupidly releasing Peyton Manning and Manning deciding to bring his talents to the country music capital of the world. The Titans have a solid defense and plenty of young, fast weapons on offense. Imagine Manning grinning as he makes the first four or five years of the Luck era in Indy just miserable as he tourtures the kid twice a year. Even better, Manning could strip away much of the Colts veteran core by bringing Garcon, Mathis and others with him. This is my number one 2012 NFL fantasy. Please make it happen, football gods!

Okay, getting tired...more coming later....

Is Ben & Jerry's "Taste the Lin-Sanity" the Ultimate Compliment or What?

Vermont based company Ben and Jerry's has teamed up with NBA sensation Jeremy Lin to push its latest craze, Lin-Sanity Ice Cream. Ben and Jerry's shop in Harvard Square began selling The Lin-Sanity ice cream in honor of their pride and joy, Harvard Graduate, Jeremy Lin.

You wanna know what the difference between the Tim Tebow madness and the Jeremy Lin-Sanity is? Ok good, I thought so. It's very very simple, Tim Tebow is very sucky at running an offense and Jeremy Lin isn't. The Yellow Mamba is the real deal. He doesn't need God in his game, he doesn't need cameras following his every move and he doesn't need ESPN specials and Skip Bayless stroking his might ego. He just needs the rock and a tub of his own Ben and Jerry's Lin-sanity ice cream. All of Tebow's stupid, meaningless awards, his fake National Championship, his virginity and love of the Lord are nothing compared to having your own Ben and Jerry's Flavor named after you. Need I say more?

I must confess...

There comes a time in most men's lives that they just hafto accept who they are, embrace it, and then shout it from every mountain top. I am using this platform, at this very second to finally admit something only few people know about me, I am addicted to reality television. Much of my life is spent watching some of the dumbest reality television shows you could ever imagine. There's just something about it I cant explain. Maybe it's a self-esteem issue. Maybe it all makes me feel a little bit better about myself, maybe not. Nevertheless, I consider myself the greatest Big Brother Handicapper in the United States and I have seen every episode of The Real World and Road Rules ever made. I'm a legit Reality Television Expert. I'm your Huckleberry. Quietly, it is a dream of mine to go on one of these ridiculous shows and put my fifteen plus years of experience to the test. I was thinking about sending a video resume of myself to the next Big Brother but then I thought, I am way too cool to be cast for one of these shows. They would probably be all like, Goddy is too cute and he will probably just be in the sack the whole show bangin shit out or they will probably just reject me becuz I'm so athletic that it just wouldn't be fair to the average person on the show. I understand these things. Its like I said, I had to accept me for me and just roll with it.

Anyways, one of my favorite reality joints to smoke is a show called Undercover Boss. What a great fuckin show. These CEO's steppin up and getting their hands dirty, actually relating to the little guy and handing out Big Cheese to the employees that deserve it most. It's life changing stuff and I'm just privileged to be a part of it. My only thing with this show is this, how do these employees not see what the hell is really going on? And where in the F does production get the make-up/costume designers at? As if all the cameras being around weren't enough to make people think something was fishy, the cameras are on these guys in costume that look about as real as Donald Trumps synthetic comb over. I am demanding that Undercover Boss do something about this, today! We need to see these white CEO's painted black, the skinny broads need to become large. About 278 pounds large. You gotta work with me here, Undercover Boss People.

Here are a couple tips that can make this show as great as it should be:
1) There's this place in the United States called Hollywood. I bet you could find some talent in the Make-up department here. I need to see a vampire like transformation. Bullrings, tattoos, fangs, the whole nine.

2) If you can't get a real make-up artist then at least ask the CEO's to just go ahead and grow a real mustache and/or beard. Much more effective than the plastic Charlie Chaplin glue on stache.

I've been trolling you for three years now Undercover Boss people, three long years. Do something about this immediately or I will continue to watch and I wont say a word. Go ahead, tempt me.....

Listen All Ya'll

Song ah dah day

Bright Eyes is one of three groups that singer/songwriter Conor Oberst has created. His other projects include Monsters of Folk and Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band which are both more of a folk rock sound. Conor is often referred to as the Bob Dylan of his generation and I kinda agree with that description. He's a lyrical mastermind and I cant think of anybody in the last decade or two that comes close to his body of work. He's been writing songs and recording since he was thirteen and has just gotten better n better. What was once descibed as teenage angst rock has grown into a resume of absolute genius works of art. We went to see them live this past summer and it was one of the great live performances I've ever seen. His stage presence and total command of the audience is phenomenal and the range of sounds from this band is as wide as any. I was introduced to this band about five years ago when I met my girl. She was absolutely right when she said I would love them!

Sources tell me: JaVale is the best shot blocker in the world.

I know what you're thinking, JaVale McWho? Or maybe you're thinking that anybody can do this against The Kings these days. Doesn't matter to me. I have watched this kid several times this year and he is a future star in The NBA. He does this shit against everybody. Just look at what he did to the NBA's golden boy, Blake Griffin. I have never seen anybody handle Blake like this. Remember me saying this, right here and right now, JaVale McGee is gna be bigtime.

*A goal-tending was called on that first nasty swat. Bull-shit! Bull-shit!! Bull-shit!!!

P.S. JaVale said he was "rocking out" to the movie Top Gun before his game against the Kings. What are the chances JaVale was doin the Dougie to some old Kenny Loggins? From now on I will refer to McGee only as Maverick McGoose. I see you McGoose, I see you.

How about the Denny's Sandwich Bandit?

A man who claimed to be the new manager of a Denny's restaurant in Wisconsin then cooked himself a cheeseburger and fries is facing charges.

Police say 52-year-old James Summers, wearing a tie and carrying a briefcase, claimed he was sent by Denny's corporate office Tuesday to be the new manager at the restaurant in Madison. The current manager told him he must have the wrong restaurant. Summers told her she apparently had not received the memo about the change in leadership.

Authorities say the manager called her supervisors while Summers helped himself to a meal. WISC-TV (http://bit.ly/wXDz2w ) says police were summoned and took Summers into custody. Officers say they found a stun gun on his belt. Summers is charged with disorderly conduct, drug possession and possessing an electric weapon.

Let me get this strait, some random bro dressed as a Denny's Manager just walks into the kitchen, says he is there to begin his training, cooks himself lunch and then just tries to dip out of there like everything is hunky dory? I'm not quite sure how I feel right now. Part of me thinks this is a major power move by this dude and he needs to be commended but the other part of me never wants to go back to Denny's at 2am for an omelet and hash browns ever again.

Being in the restaurant biz for 15+ years, I have seen my fair share of ignorant fucks just walk into our kitchen, throw an order around to a waitress and go back to their table like they didn't just do some shit people aren't supposed to do but this.... This is just crazy. I'm baffled, how did this guy get behind the line? How did he know what to cook and where things were? He had to be a former employee, right? I guess the question I need answered is what did this guy make himself to eat? If it was a grand slam banger with the works then he would have had to work there before. If it was just a grilled cheese or something like that then I'm convinced this bro is just, plum slick. Either way, here is a tip for anyone who wants to attempt this at home: If your ever goin to walk into a restaurant's kitchen, pretend your a Manager and cook yourself up something to eat, please remember to leave all of your drugs and stun guns at the crib.