Song of the epoc

We had a request for Primus-My name is mud, but instead you get my favorite Primus song. I've been a huge Primus fan since this crazy dude named Willie had it playing in his car the first time I met him. I was in 7th grade at the time and he was giving me n my boy JB a ride to go skate. It was always good to hear some hardcore shit before you went out to kiss the pavement a few times. We use to refer to certain songs that would pump us up as "go skate music". Primus has more then a few of these songs.

Almost everyone knows who Les Claypool is right ? He has gotten his props for being one of the most amazing Bass players of all time. He absolutely kills it using unique techniques like whammy bar bends, tapping, slapping, and something called flamenco like strumming. I've always felt like the other guys in the band were way underrated. There's been a few different band members over the years but the guys on the best albums ( suck on this, frizzle fry, sailing the seas of cheese, pork soda) were absolutely a perfect fit with Les.

The Dwight Howard Saga Continues

Not sure but doesn't it seem like Mr. Howard has enjoyed all the attention given him surrounding the question of where he will play basketball next year. I suppose any of us could fall victim to the seduction by the media. Feeling like this decision is so very important that perhaps it has world wide implications. In fact, this may be the most important decision any human being makes this year (you could argue that Howard's decision has received nearly as much attention as the American citizenry's decision as the next leader of the most powerful nation of all time has thus far).

But really, it is such a stupid question. It is so meritless. This dude has millions of people spending billions of hours contemplating, debating and questioning where he will play. Play! One more time....Play!!! The world will ultimately not be affected in any way by Howard's decision. Most of me wishes we could just keep these things quiet until the offseason and then we could spend a week or two frantically wondering. But, part of me really enjoys the ongoing debate, so color me a hypocrite for writing any of this.

Dwight Howard has decided...........(building suspense)............to not make a decision. Yup, he has decided not to opt out of his final year with Orlando which means (unless there is a general agreement to an extension) that we can go on for another year obsessing about the future employment of Mr. Dwight Howard, Attention Whore. The media has chimed in saying one thing or another. Having one opinion or a counter opinion. Loving the loyalty he has displayed (Really? Loyalty? Like letting your spouse or life partner wriggle with the fear that you might leave him/her for nearly a calendar year) or criticizing the cowardice remaining a big fish in a little pond.

Either way, this is likely just an extension for the attention lover, Dwight Howard. Howard just hit a last second shot to put this wonderfully interesting/annoying game into overtime. Actually, considering his limited offense arsenal, blocked a last second shot to put this fascinating/stupid contest into extra time! Yah/Boo depending on your perspective.

Hold up, the 3rd Worst Fans in All of Sports?

GQ magazine has the balls to say that West Virginia Fans are the third worst fans in all of sports? According to their article (wrote some time ago) only Phillies Fans and Eagle Fans are more hated than the Mountaineer Faithful. Some fans that were considered "less hated" than WVU were: The Red Sox, Duke Basketball, The Yankees, The Cowboys, The Lakers and even Penn State (post Sandusky).

*I'd like to note that even Terp Fans from Maryland came in strong as the #5 seed, also above the Yanks and My Sox.

Is this a joke? Are you freaking kidding me? I mean where do I start? Part of me is honored to be so hated but anybody that knows me knows that I didn't need any help in the world's most hated department. Isn't GQ Magazine like a fashion mag for gay bros and guidos? Don't they do like runway shows n shit? But ok, I'll take it. Too be hated more than Red Sox Fans, Yankees Fans and even Oakland Raiders fans is saying something isn't it? Who else has burnt over 1,200 couches? And in Maryland's case, who else knocks on people's doors and steals couches just to burn them? True story.

My only question is this, what if I am a lifetime Red Sox fan and a devote Mountaineer fan? Is it even possible to hate me any more? That's exactly what I want to hear.

Mountaineer fans are just like Steeler Fans, world fuckin wide!! You see, if you live in West Virginia and you want to be successful, you usually get the fuck out of here and go where it's goin down, taking your roots with you. Same thing goes for the Pittsburgh area. I don't need to explain how it all works, you're not stupid but this is why our fans are the greatest in the world. This is why our fans are in every major city across the country. This is why even away games are really home games for the Mounties and the Steelers. So fuck off GQ, we embrase things like this. What's better than being the most hated fans in the world of sports, you ask? Being the greatest and largest group of 3rd most hated fans in the world of sports.

See, check this bro out. Greatest fans on the planet.

Are you the Oracle?

Calling all pretenders. We are looking for the big baller. The shot caller. Just kidding, we are looking to crown "The Oracle". Who makes all the right calls this year? Mr. Armstrong, uh, don't bother. We know you are not for real. You got beat by the First Lady in the NFL Playoffs Contest for goodness sake. (Congrats to the younger Mr. Kins for winning that one in a head to head Super Bowl battle, winner take all style)

Here are the rules:

There are no rules (except be super crystal clear as to what you are predicting). The categories below are optional. Answer as many or as few as you like. You can make additional predictions. The winner will be decided by a committee of me (just me) and there are no rules as to how I will make the decision. Volume of accuracy could win it but then again maybe only one incredible mind blowing prediction could as well. No idea and no promises. Be creative or go f@ck yourself. I don't really care.

Here are the categories:

National Champion (Obvious What we are looking for here, right?)
Final Four (Equally obvious. Getting all four right is better than getting three right, got it?)
Dark Horse Final Four (Looking for the lowest seeded team to make the Final Four.)
Elite Eight Cinderella (Same deal. Lowest seeded team that makes the Elite Eight.)
Biggest First Round Upset (Do you have the nuts to take a 16? If yes, then you are simply nuts.)

Those are the biggies but here are some more...

Top Seed Survivor Pick (First One Seed eliminated.)
Cinderella Search (Last 12-16 seed eliminated.)
Conference Chumps (Which conference has the most losses in the first round?)

Again, answer all or just a few in you want. Offer up some your own as well. Being a dick and copying someone's picks will not impress me but making fun of someone's picks might.

Good luck and whatever...

Did Propecia Ever ALMOST Get You Laid?

Erectile Disfunction and Impotence have recently been linked to the Hair Loss Treatment, Propecia and bros everywhere are trying like hell to understand. Though the FDA has not even considered a recall on Propecia, that hasn't stopped all the vexatious litigants out there from trying to get some kind of compensation for their newly limp peckers. And I don't blame them.

This is probably the funniest story I have seen in quite some time. A bro is goin bald, right? He's seeing first hand that if you're just an average Goddy and your bald, it's tough to get some play, right? So he probably goes to some shitty wanna be doctor and pays like $90 just to hear them say he's goin bald, right? Then the bro probably pays another 90 stones for the pill that's going to give him his swag back, right? Ok now that we have that covered let's get to the real travesty in all of this...

So homeboy starts taking this pill for a couple weeks and is seeing a difference, his blowout looks a little fuller and he starts to get a little more confident with each passing day. He asks this chick out from work that he's been diggin on for a while, but was just too ugly to muster up the nuts to go for it. So before the date, just in case he is gna get lucky, he wants to rub one out so he can last a little longer, later on. Only he cant seem to cop a chubby, His shit is just like jelly in his hands. His pepper is liquified and he hasto pick Betty up in an hour. Maybe he's just nervous? I mean, he hasn't been laid since he's gone bald. So he gets half way thru his date and Betty starts playing footsie under the table, she's ready to skip the Filet Mignon and get strait to fuckin, so he eagerly obliges. He gets her back to his parents basement and you guessed it!! He cant get the boy up. Betty never talks to him again and a month later he sees this commercial......

Is this some unbelievable shit right here or what? I can't even make stuff like this up. I was just as shocked as every bald bro out there when I saw this commercial. Propecia should fucking die. It should get fucked in the butt and left to die a long slow death. Everyone knows that when a dude goes bald he either A: deals with it via Bic or a combover, becuz he's a cool dude and doesn't need hair to get pussy, or B: freaks the fuck out and gets Rogaine or some other type of Hair Loss Treatment, because he isn't so cool and realies mainly on his looks. So for anybody who uses Propecia, they are most likely trying to get themselves back in the game, not thinking that the same medication they take to give them their swag back, is gna be the same shit that destroys their clout forever.

Limp Dick is something a bro just doesn't recover from. It is no different than when a chicks gash is snappy. Once that rumor gets out, it's over. Nobody wants to be friends with you let alone sleep with your stank ass. With that said, I hope these dudes sue Propecia for everything they have. This is unacceptable.

P.S. Remind me to never use Propecia. I'm gna rock The Comb-over till the wheels fall off!

Honestly, is This the Gayest Tandem in All of Sports?

See, on the court I have nothing but respect for both of these guys. I love a villian and I love hating the Heat even more but I can't deny that Lebron is the greatest athelete in sports right now. However, that does not mean I think they are cool, trendy or anything other than complete dooshbags. They both have the same ultra faggy man bags and they both wear those ridiculous fake glasses. I know this shit is probably hip but I want nothing to do with it. If I want cute then I will check out Tom Brady's head shots, not these two dicks. Give me a white t-shirt, beater and some Doc Martins, all day.

What will become of Matt Flynn?

So the big unproven free agent QB this year is Matt Flynn. Is he this years Kevin Kolb/Matt Cassel or will he be more of a Matt Shaub? Cassel was impressive for one year as the Patriots starter but hasn't lived up to the hype he generated. He's still a capable starter in the league if you ask me. Kevin Kolb was a guy we had even less to go off of but I didn't really disagree with the Cards taking a chance on him. Matt Shaub has proven to be a very good QB but it seems he just can't stay healthy.

Now onto Matt Flynn. Flynn started the last game of the season for Green Bay this past year and made himself a bunch of money. He stepped in for the NFL MVP and Green Bay's offense rolled. He looked absolutely flawless throwing 6 tuddys against Detroit. I don't think this performance was a fluke and that's because I don't think people just luck into an all time great game by a QB in the NFL. Aaron Rodgers has said that he thinks Flynn can be a top 15 qb in the NFL. Maybe just being a good pal but I think he sees that Flynn has great instincts which is what I think  Kolb n Cassel lack. Unfortunately for Flynn the Colts went and released Manning which could take away his choice of where he wants to go. Most of us thought it was obvious Flynn would end up in Miami once his offensive coordinator with the Packers was hired as the Dolphins head coach. This still might happen but only if Manning chooses not to go there, obviously. Not sure why he'd ever want to be a redskin but that seems to be off the table anyways. Since the skins traded mad picks to move up to the two spot in the draft they will get RG3.

In some sense Flynn and  Manning are connected. Flynns destination will most likely depend on what Manning decides to do. If the Broncos don't land Peyton will they go after Flynn? How bout the Chiefs? I doubt either of those. Manning is Manning, a for sure 8-10 wins as long as he can play. That's the only reason those teams have made a push for a QB. Flynn is still a risk so they're not gonna pay 30-40 mil on a guy that might not be better than who they have. Well he's ten times better then teebs in his sleep but the fan base in Denver wouldn't go for that and I don't think Elway would take that chance. Imagine what would go down if he paid Flynn, traded Tebow and Flynn ended up being Alex Smith (poo) ?  This leaves a few possible destinations I believe. I think he goes to Miami if they don't end up with Manning. If they do land Manning I think Flynn goes to Seattle. The GM in Seattle drafted Flynn so that's an obvious connection. If there's another team I think it's Cleveland. I think the stupid Brownies should've thrown as many draft picks as it took to move up to get RG3. I've said that the city needs something or someone to get excited about. Maybe Flynn could give them hope but Griffin brings world class speed if nothing else which equals excitement.  A few times a game he's gonna make an amazing play so the fans gotta go see him. However if Flynn is the next Rodgers then they would get a franchise guy without giving up all those draft picks. The only way I see him in Cleveland is if they just go all out and pay him huge money. Should the Browns go hard after Flynn? I say why not  but if I was Flynn I would take a little less money and avoid Cleveland at all cost.

 Where does Flynn play next year ? And is he for real ? I would love to see him in that super cute Seagulls jersey. Since Dallas and Washington got hit hard today by the league for front loading the cap  every other team in the league gets an additional 1.6 mil in cap space this year. Maybe that brings some other teams in but I still don't see anyone else making a real push for him.